Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
