You can't special order awesome
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
