honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
