i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
