If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I see more hoeing in ur future
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
