I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
