My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize