Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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