ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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