OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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