youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
