The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
