just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
