in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize