we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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