So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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