At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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