dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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