i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize