There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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