gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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