Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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