I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
