I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
