..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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