Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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