smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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