OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize