I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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