Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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