I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize