After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
