i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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