I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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