She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
