I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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