I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i came on her dog
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
