Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
