I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
