I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
