Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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