next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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