Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
