Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
