Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
