Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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