well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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