I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
