Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
