I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
