you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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