I need help removing her.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
