I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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