Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
