ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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