Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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