What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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