U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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