I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your dad touched me again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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