Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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