Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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