It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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