I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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